sweet water diaries: entry one

my heart beats slow...
dangerous for anyone to try to get close....
let alone want to....
burdened with my own insecurities....
hardened by past tendencies.....
for me to fall beneath anothers heartbeat...
in hopes of it conjoining with me....
seems so far fetched from me....
you say fuck love...
I say love fucked me...
one time too many....
she'd give it to me good...
then i'd wake up in the morning, dollar bills on my dresser...
tears on my pillow...
lip stick smeared on my sheets from the night when her and me, were..
were we...
wondering where did she go....
love....
funny how i'll never stop loving you...
even so.....
I've noticed over time...
each time you come back, you stay longer than the time before....
in the back of my mind i'll always hope....
the next time you come in, the door behind you will remain closed....
metaphorically speaking....
you come and give me false hope only to leave my heart leaking, breaking, barely beating....
love.....
if you mention her name around me...
i'll turn my head the other way....
you think i'm hard...
no. never that..
i'm just......
i'm just hiding the tears falling down my face....
but i'll still push out a smile....
laugh and remain hopeful....
so bittersweet....
but love, love will always taste so good to me....
and love, love will always have her way with me.
-Miss.Niquey

Sex Phantom

she held my eyes until our stare broke... beautiful brown skin... she dissappeared without a trace... now i'm stuck with dreams and words... words that refuse to fall from my lips.... phantom feelings haunt me of her tracing my body with her fingertips.... I awaken to see only bed sheets wrapped around me.... each day i sit back in the shadows..... every day, at the same time... my eyes wonder upon the crowd... seeing familiar faces, but none belong to her..... I drift off to sleep...... I feel a hand on my shoulder..... "i must've fell asleep, I'm sorry" i say... then i look up..... my lips tremble..... eyes are locked.... a million thoughts racing through my mind... I can't get one word out... "where have you, what, how"...she places her finger against my lips...... I forbid the rest of my words..... I am now lost in her eyes.... she has never been this close... I can hear her heart beat.... it matches mine.... as if we are thinking the same thing... feeling the same thing..... seconds, minutes pass by.... I stand to face her... now she is eye to eye...... she's so beautiful.... dark brown eyes...... beautiful brown skin..... i gaze over her body.... even in her loose attire, I see her thickness...... I wanna touch her.... I step closer and she pulls me in for a kiss.... i hesitate... my heart is beating so fast, i can't stand it.... I close my eyes and bury my face in her neck.... she wraps her arms around my waist and I'm lost in her essence..... she smells like cocoa butter..... so sweet...... her hands start to trail up and down my spine..... I lift my head a little and kiss her neck...... I kiss her ears and back down to her collar bone..... low moans escape her lips.... i let my tongue glide along her throat and up to her chin...then her lips.... I glide the tip of my tongue across her bottom lip ..... she tries to kiss me, but i dodge her..... she pushes me against a wall and dips her tongue in my mouth... then she passionately kisses me....... our tongues begin a rapid violent dance.... our breathing deepens.... I feel myself becoming wet... a shy moan escapes my lips.... her hands begin to trace over my entire body, just as she would in my dreams..... she pushes my shirt up over my breasts without ever leaving my lips..... she slides my bra straps down and i have to pull my shirt off as she slides my bra off.... she pulls my face to her and stares me deep in my eyes.... she says a million things but nothing of sound..... we begin to kiss and i pull her shirt off and tug at her jeans.... she shoves my hand away and begins to massage my breasts.... it feels so good, I can't help but moan and arch my back.... i feel her tongue trace down between my breasts and now her tongue is circling my nipples.... my hands are now on her shoulders guiding her down...... she looks up at me and then stands up.... i try to push her down.... she pins my hands up over my head and lets her jeans fall..... she begins to kiss my neck and grind her pussy into mine.... she starts slow and then catches a rhythm.... my panties, her briefs..both soaked.... we are now kissing and moaning, grinding.... she is so nasty and i'm enjoying every bit of it.... from her stare to her demeanor.... my eyes plead with her... she knows what i want..... she moves my panties to the side.... she dips her finger in and feels how wet i am... she chuckles.... then she sucks her fingers dry..... she kisses me and i taste myself on her tongue... she starts to massage my swollen clit.... I quiver..... then she enters me with two fingers and I spread my legs even more, encouraging her to go deeper... she then begins to fuck me, her fingers are long and thick.... she fucks me in a curved motion, being sure to hit every wall.... I arch my back against the wall and start moaning in ecstasy and my legs begin to start shaking... she abruptly stops... I look down at her in anger..... she's staring hungrily at my clit.... a naughty smile appears on my face.... i pull her up to me and we get caught in a deep kiss..... she then lays me on my back, pushing my legs as wide apart as they will go.... she takes my clit into her mouth, oh...my.....god the tip of her tongue dances on my clit.... she then glides her tongue up and down my pussy lips.... then in and out of my pussy hole..... she puts her whole face in my shit.... eating me like she's been fasting for years from what she craves.... I cum over and over again and she just won't stop.... she bites my inner thighs and rubs her hands over whatever part of me she can get her hands on while she's lost in me.... I am in the most euphoric place..... I close my eyes and then I hear a voice.... "wake up Nique!. Wake the fuck up"... I open my eyes..... I don't see her... Damn was all I could say....-Miss.Niquey "Sex Phantom"