Innocent little monster

Innocent little monster

Monday, July 13, 2009

watered down lesbian

I remember when I used to be...
the kinda girl who would enjoy the simplicity....
in life...
who could find comfort just in the arms of the one that loved her....
who didn't need all the extra glitz and gold..
and glamour?
and then comes this 'I need a long haired thick red bone"...
now i'm pushing my boobies up...
surfacing my depth...
playing the role trying to be "the baddest bitch"..
I picked up cocky from the busstop and left "my mystery" at the corner...
I wear my heart on my mothafucking sleeve....
tryna keep up with this "so called lesbian scene"....
I used to ride out to UT wit the homie, go to the arts building and sit there and sing my heart out while playing the piano and goofing it up wit the homies......
I used to be content in that...
I didn't give a fuck about the hype...
I was.....
The hype...
I used to be enough for me.....
and fuck her if she didn't like me....
cuz I know she won't fight me...
yeh...
I used to be that crazy...
never ever that lazy....
music used to MAKE me...
not cover girl...
not mac...
fuck all that....
art was...
is me....
in that I seek my destiny...
profound and pure...
I found my cure....
from this..
watered down lesbianism.
I remember when I used to be....
the kind of girl who would spend hours trying to perfect a song...
download an instrumental to my favorite slow song...
hook my mic up and record with my baby sister....
damn I was happy.....
not a care in the world....
but then this love thing.....
this loneliness crept up on me....
this girl and that girl.....
but they didn't care to see me....
just to see through me....
"at their own reflection"..
no protection I seek....
if your gonna love me....
then LOVE ME....
your so caught up in these bimbos that walk around in stilettos...
try to mold me??
into them??
the watered down lesbianism hit me....
I fell down the stairs and damn near broke my ankle...
the watered down lesbianism hit me....
So now with you I have to be seen...
not heard....
damn ma your this, o0o0o mami your that...
is that it...
was that supposed to make me happy....
content....
haha..
watered down lesbianism...
I watched her..
over and over again...
some random girl....
she was just her...
no glitz and gold...
no hardcore accent like she's from uptown or down south...
wasn't dressed up in a tutu with a shemah round her neck...
no fitted...
nothing...
just her and her acoustic...
singing probably one of her favorite songs...
being her...
individuality...
it's so much easier to just BE YOU...
and it looks so much better on a person...
weirdwhen she started singing that song and tapping that acoustic..
it took my mind back to ME...
guess I didn't feel so watered down anymore...
It just feels like I been walking around the same block....
like I got so accustomed to "this" shallowness....
I forgot that I indeed like to go DEEP....
Like I forgot it's okay to Just BE me.
Instead of this watered down lesbian.

-MiSS.NiQueY

P.S. ummm I am unique and blah and blah like you all say...but none of you know me or my capabilities. So if you wonder Why I feel this way, like I shouldn't. I can only say this, For a moment i got wrapped up and have been for quite some time. Due to being around superficial people. But I always kept my individuality, I can't really help that, but i still feel like I've conformed a little too much. i'VE gotten used to a bunch of shit that is SOO BORING TO ME. I want my music back, and there's so much more to it, than what can be heard. Alot of you won't understand, because from what i see, so many of you are "caught up". -Miss.NiquEy.
P.P.S I know the title is HELLA WeiRD.

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